Trains are more than just transportation. They’re a rolling source of comedy! Whether you’re a railroad enthusiast or just love a good laugh, train puns never go off track. These jokes will have you chugging along with laughter in no time.

Get ready for the ultimate collection of train humor. We’ve gathered over 250 hilarious one-liners that’ll make you smile from platform to platform. From conductor jokes to locomotive wordplay, there’s something here for everyone. All aboard the comedy express – your next favorite joke is just ahead!

Funny Train Puns

• I’m training to be a comedian – it’s loco-motive work!
• That train conductor really knows how to stay on track with life.
• Why did the train get hired? It had the right credentials on its resume!
• Trains are great at relationships – they never lose their connection.
• I tried to catch a train joke, but it went over my head at full steam.
• The train’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal on the tracks!
• Trains make terrible secret agents – they always leave a trail.
• I’m not getting derailed by negativity today!
• That train has such a magnetic personality – everyone’s drawn to it.
• Why are trains so good at meditation? They’re always finding their inner peace at the station.
• The train started a podcast – it’s called “Off the Rails.”
• Trains never gossip – they keep things on the down-low-comotive.
• I asked the train for advice, and it told me to keep chugging along.
• Why did the train go to therapy? It had too much baggage!
• Trains are excellent dancers – they’ve got all the right moves on the floor.
• The express train opened a restaurant – the service is lightning fast!
• Why don’t trains ever get lost? They always follow their tracks record.
• That train is so confident – it’s got locomotive self-esteem!
• Trains make great teachers – they really know how to conduct a class.
• Why are trains so honest? They can’t help but stay on the straight and narrow.
• The train wrote an autobiography – it’s called “My Journey So Far.”
• Trains never procrastinate – they’re always ahead of schedule!
• Why did the train become a motivational speaker? It knew how to move people.
• That train is so smart – it has a one-track mind for success!
• Trains are the best storytellers – their tales always have multiple cars!

Short Train Puns

• Choo-choo choose happiness!
• Full steam ahead!
• I’m trained for this!
• Rail-y good times!
• On the right track!
• Loco for you!
• Station yourself here!
• Train your focus!
• Coal-d blooded humor!
• Express yourself!
• Caboose-ing wisely!
• Rail or nothing!
• Track star status!
• Chug life!
• Freight night fun!
• Tunnel vision goals!
• Platform vibes only!
• Whistle while you work!
• Signal your intentions!
• Boxcar dreaming!
• Steam team supreme!
• Switch it up!
• Gauge your success!
• Brake for nothing!
• Conduct yourself well!

Train Puns For Kids

• What do trains eat for breakfast? Choo-choo cherry cereal!
• Why did Thomas smile? He was having a loco-motive day!
• Trains go to school to improve their track record!
• What’s a train’s favorite game? Follow the conductor!
• Choo-choo choose to be kind today!
• Why are trains so friendly? They like making new connections!
• What do baby trains drink? Coal-d milk!
• Trains love bedtime stories about the little engine that could!
• Why did the train wear sneakers? For its training session!
• What’s a train’s favorite snack? Railroad raisins!
• Trains brush their tracks every night before bed!
• Why was the little train happy? It got an A on its train-ing test!
• What do trains do at recess? Play track and field!
• Why did the train bring crayons? To draw the track!
• Trains love singing “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad!”
• What’s a train’s favorite subject? History – learning about their tracks!
• Why do trains make good friends? They never leave you stranded!
• What did the baby train say? “Choo-choo, I love you!”
• Trains wear helmets when they go through tunnels – safety first!
• Why are trains good at sharing? They have lots of cars to go around!
• What’s a train’s favorite color? Coal-or me surprised!
• Trains count cars instead of sheep to fall asleep!
• Why did the train giggle? Someone tickled its caboose!
• What do trains do on snow days? They still chug along!
• Trains love making new friends at every station stop!

Train Puns for Instagram

• Living life on the express lane! 🚂
• Just training to be awesome!
• Current mood: Full steam ahead!
• Platform goals only!
• Choo-choosing happiness every day!
• On track to greatness!
• Living that loco-motive lifestyle!
• Rails before fails!
• Conducting my best life!
• No time for derailments today!
• Station vibes and good times!
• Express yourself boldly!
• Freight-ning how fast time flies!
• Tunnel vision on my dreams!
• All aboard the success train!
• Making tracks toward my goals!
• Living life without brakes!
• Coal-hearted but warm-souled!
• Whistle while you hustle!
• Track star in the making!
• Caboose-ing positivity always!
• Signal your greatness!
• Just a rail enthusiast living their dream!
• Boxcar full of blessings!
• Steaming into the weekend like…

Read This Post: 320 Car Puns & Car Jokes For Your Next Road Trip

Train Pun Captions

• “Staying on track, one day at a time.”
• “Life’s a journey – might as well enjoy the ride!”
• “Choo-choosing to see the bright side today.”
• “Full steam ahead into new adventures!”
• “No destination, just enjoying the journey.”
• “Rails to the weekend!”
• “Conducting myself with excellence.”
• “Living life in the fast lane – express style!”
• “Every day is a new station in life.”
• “Making tracks and breaking records.”
• “Loco for this view!”
• “Platform thoughts and railway dreams.”
• “Just a soul with locomotive energy.”
• “Whistle if you’re happy!”
• “Freight nights and city lights.”
• “On the right track to happiness.”
• “Station-ary? Never heard of it!”
• “Coal-d days, warm heart.”
• “Express lane to success.”
• “Tunnel through the tough times.”
• “Caboose-ing love over fear.”
• “Signal your intentions, achieve your dreams.”
• “Boxcar full of memories made today.”
• “Training for greatness daily.”
• “Life’s better when you’re on track.”

Train Pun Names

• Loco-Motley Crew
• The Express-ionists
• Choo-Choo Charlie
• Rail-y McTrainface
• Sir Conduct-a-lot
• Freight Night Freddy
• Caboose Bruce
• Steam Dream Supreme
• Track Star Stella
• Platform Patricia
• Whistle While You Winston
• Coal-in the Conductor
• Gauge Gregory
• Switch-it Sally
• Boxcar Betty
• Tunnel Tom
• Signal Samantha
• Brake-it Benjamin
• Station Master Stan
• Diesel Daisy
• Sleeper Car Sarah
• Junction Jack
• Passenger Percy
• Commuter Carl
• Engine Earl

Train Puns Birthday

• Have a loco-motive birthday celebration!
• Hope your birthday stays on track for fun!
• Choo-choo choose an amazing birthday!
• All aboard the birthday express!
• Wishing you full steam ahead into another year!
• May your birthday be freight-tastic!
• Hope this year doesn’t derail your dreams!
• Conducting birthday wishes your way!
• Have an express-ly wonderful birthday!
• Coal-d you be any older? Happy birthday!
• Platform yourself for an amazing year ahead!
• Whistle while you party – it’s your birthday!
• Hope your day is right on track!
• Sending birthday wishes down the line!
• May this year be your best journey yet!
• Have a rail-y special birthday!
• Caboose-ing to celebrate you today!
• Signal another great year ahead!
• Hope your birthday is a smooth ride!
• Boxcar full of birthday wishes for you!
• Training to be older and wiser! Happy birthday!
• May your birthday be first class all the way!
• Tunnel through to another amazing year!
• Station yourself for birthday cake and fun!
• Brake for birthday cake – you deserve it!

Train Puns One Liners

• I’m not getting sidetracked today – staying focused!
• Life’s too short to miss the train of opportunity.
• Keep calm and choo-choo on!
• I’ve got a one-track mind when it comes to success.
• Don’t let anyone derail your dreams!
• I’m training hard to reach my goals.
• Stay on track and you’ll reach your destination.
• Full steam ahead – no looking back!
• I’m conducting my life like a symphony.
• All aboard the positivity express!
• Life’s a journey, not a station.
• I’m fueled by coal-d brew and determination.
• Express yourself – don’t hold back!
• I’ve got locomotive motivation!
• Rails before fails, always!
• I’m on the right track now.
• Choo-choosing happiness is my daily routine.
• I don’t brake for negativity.
• My success is gaining steam.
• I’m a freight train of productivity.
• Whistle while you work – it helps!
• I’m switching tracks to a better path.
• My goals are just around the bend.
• I’m tunneling through obstacles with ease.
• Signal your greatness to the world!

Cute Train Puns

• You’re choo-choo cute!
• I’m loco for you!
• You make my heart go choo-choo!
• We’re the perfect match – like train and track!
• You’re my favorite conductor of happiness!
• Choo’re simply the best!
• I choo-choo choose you every time!
• You’re on track to steal my heart!
• Our love is like a train – it just keeps rolling!
• You’re the steam to my engine!
• I’m rail-y into you!
• You make my heart race like an express train!
• We’re on the same track in life!
• You’re the caboose to my train – completing everything!
• I’m so glad we made this connection!
• You’re freight-fully adorable!
• You light up my tunnel!
• Choo’re my favorite person in the whole station!
• My love for you never derails!
• You’re the whistle that makes me smile!
• We’re a perfect pair – like coal and steam!
• You conduct yourself with such grace!
• You’re my express ticket to happiness!
• Choo make every day special!
• You’re the destination I’ve been searching for!

Train Puns Reddit

• Just found out I’m a train conductor – it’s my calling, I can feel it in my bones… or should I say rails?
• My therapist told me to get my life back on track. So I became a train driver.
• I tried to make a train pun, but I lost my train of thought.
• Why do Redditors love trains? Because they’re always on the front page… or platform.
• I’m not saying I’m obsessed with trains, but my karma is definitely on track.
• Just got banned from r/trains for going off the rails in the comments.
• This post really gained steam in the subreddit!
• I choo-choo choose to upvote this!
• These train puns are loco-motiving me to laugh!
• OP really conducted this thread perfectly.
• This discussion has too many cars – getting derailed here.
• Full steam ahead to the top of r/all!
• These comments are freight-ning levels of funny!
• I’m awarding this post my free silver – it’s rail-y good!
• This thread is going places – express places!
• Not gonna lie, I’m tunnel-visioned on train content now.
• This subreddit keeps me on track with my daily laughs.
• Came for the memes, stayed for the locomotive content.
• This post is coal-d but still fire!
• The real joke is always in the caboose section.
• I’ve been training for this comment moment my whole life.
• This thread is a trainwreck… in the best way possible!
• Whistle while you scroll, fellow Redditors!
• Signal your upvotes – this deserves to trend!
• Breaking: Local Redditor can’t stop making train puns, family concerned.

Conclusion

We hope these train puns kept you entertained on your comedy journey. Laughter is the best fuel for any day, just like coal for a steam engine. Share these jokes with friends and family to spread the joy. After all, humor always brings people together on the right track.

Train puns never get old, no matter how many times you hear them. They’re perfect for breaking the ice or lightening the mood anywhere. Keep these one-liners handy for your next conversation or social gathering. Thanks for riding along with us through this collection of railway humor!